Vengeance will be mine! A gleeful Trump promises to talk about 'nothing else but his exoneration' of Russian collusion for the next four years as SNL attempts to grapple with the fallout from Mueller's bombshell report
The Trump administration’s spin of the completed Mueller report was spoofed on Saturday Night Live, with Alec Baldwin returning as the embattled president and Robert de Niro reprising his role as Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
SNL cast member Aidy Bryant debuted her portrayal of Attorney General William Barr, who in real life issued a four-page summary of the more-than-300-page report submitted by Mueller last week.
Kate McKinnon returned as Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.
The sketch pokes fun at Trump's, Barr's, and Mueller's various interpretations of the report into alleged collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russian government.
While Mueller is portrayed as methodical, diligent, and cautious, Barr is depicted as someone eager to whitewash any alleged wrongdoing by Trump.
Trump, himself, is mocked as someone who can't be bothered with actually reading any of the Mueller report so he automatically jumps to conclusions that it are favorable to him.
Baldwin's Trump tweets his exceedingly generous interpretation of the Mueller report.
The three characters alternate with their individual spin on the Mueller investigation.
'Dear Attorney General Barr, officials from the justice department and esteemed members of congress,' Mueller begins his report.
Barr then chimes in: 'Hey, guys, William Barr here. You might want to sit down for this one.'
A jubilant Trump then enters the scene, saying: 'Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Daddy is about to freak.'
Mueller then says: 'I am submitting these 380 pages...'
Barr says: 'I am writing almost four pages...'
Trump: 'I am reading zero pages. But Sean Hannity has read it and he's so excited, he texted me an eggplant.'
The camera then pans back to Mueller.
'On the charge of obstruction of justice, we have not drawn a definitive conclusion,' De Niro as Mueller says.
To which Barr replies: 'But I have. And my conclusion is Trump clean as a whistle.'
Trump then exclaims: 'Free at last, free at last!'
The sketch reflects criticism by liberals who say that the attorney general gave a much more charitable interpretation of the Mueller report, allowing Trump to claim he was vindicated.
Mueller once again resumes his final statement on SNL, saying: 'As for conspiracy or collusion, there were several questionable instances involving the president's team but we cannot prove a criminal connection.'
Barr responds, saying: 'No collusion, no diggedy, no bad.'
Mueller then says: 'However, we have indicted 40 individuals in connection with this probe.'
Barr then says: 'Most of them very good people.'
Trump: 'The pardons are already in the mail.'
Mueller: 'I've included hundreds of pages of evidence.'
Barr: 'Most of it provided on live television by the president himself.'
Trump: 'Russia, if you're watching, go to bed. Daddy won.'
The 'Russia, if you're watching' reference is a line that Trump, in real life, said during the 2016 campaign in which he publicly urged Russia to track down Hillary Clinton's emails.
Mueller: 'And I should remind everyone there's still several ongoing investigations.'
Barr: 'One or two tiny investigations.'
Trump: ‘And they're investigations into Democrats, TV shows that have been mean to me. And Puerto Rico, that's right, I want my paper towels back, amigos.’
In real life, when Trump visited post-hurricane Puerto Rico in October 2017, he tossed paper towels to needy locals, prompting criticism that he was too glib about a tragic even that destroyed much of the island.
In recent news, Trump has reportedly been urging his administration to cut funding to Puerto Rico.
The SNL sketch continued, with Mueller saying: 'Somebody with the Trump team might have met with Russians at some point'.
Barr says: 'Somebody distantly associated with Trump might have done something weird.'
Trump, finally, chimes in: 'Somebody once told me the world was go to roll me I am the sharpest tool in the shed.'
Trump was singing the lyrics to the Smash Mouth song All Star, which was released in 1999.
McKinnon returned to SNL as Giuliani, who was vindicated by what the Trump administration views as a positive outcome to the Mueller probe.
'I guess I was a legal genius the whole time,' Giuliani says in the sketch.
'And all of my mind games worked.
'If you want to know what my mind games were, you have to ask the family of goblins who lives in my head and opens my eyes.'
In a later sketch, Beck Bennett brought back his hilarious portrayal of Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Bennett's Putin is seen convening a high-level meeting with military officials in the Kremlin.
'Have you heard the news out of America?' one of the army chiefs asks the president.
'Yes, North Carolina isn't in the Final Four,' the Russian leader says. 'This is crazy!'
One of Putin's aides says: 'Just one more moment, sir, because in Mueller report, they say President Trump has done no collusion with Russia.'
Putin then tries to change the subject as his aides try to get him to confirm that Trump is indeed 'working for Russia.'
One Russian aide says: 'I looked forward to report so much. It was going to be Mueller time, baby. All of the world would see the power of Russia. We were so excited.'
Another aide says: 'I was planning a party.'
Putin replies: 'I know, I know. It would have been wonderful. But is what is. Now, please, let us move on.'
Putin's top deputies have trouble coming to grips with the reality that Russia does not, in fact, control Trump.
'But if we had no blackmail why President Trump say such nice things about you?' one of the aides asks the president.
'I don't know. I think he just likes me,' Putin replied.
One aide then asks Putin: 'But why? You hate America. All you ever do is try to destroy their country!'
Putin replies: 'I know. I can't figure this guy out. He's in my head!'
The Russian leader then receives a special guest - North Korean ruler Kim Jong-un.
Sandra Oh, this week's host, plays Chairman Kim's interpreter.
'Our glorious leader wishes to give you this valuable gift,' Oh says.
'Michael Jordan rookie card signed by Dennis Rodman.'
In real life, Rodman, the basketball legend, has struck up a friendship with Kim. He is famously filmed breaking down in tears while singing Happy Birthday to the North Korean dictator.
Oh then says: 'But glorious leader is upset to learn that President Trump is not working for you.'
Putin replies: 'Do not worry, Russia still have much influence over America. We have internet trolls, many other things.'
Oh's character says: 'Our glorious leader says very impressive, but in a sarcastic way.'
Putin tries to reassure Kim that there's more damaging information about Trump to come, particularly from the investigations being handled by the U.S. Attorney's Office of the Southern District of New York.
'That's where the real action is,' the Russian leader tells Kim.
To which the translator replies: 'Glorious leader said you sound like Rachel Maddow right now.
'He's now questioning everything. Like did you really poison those people in England?'
In real life, Maddow is the MSNBC host who has been criticized for using her nightly show to build anticipation among her audience that the Mueller report would uncover a Trump-Russia conspiracy to tilt the 2016 election.
Barr's summary of the Mueller report, however, found that there was no such conspiracy.
The 'poison those people in England' references the case of Sergei Skripal and Yulia Skripal, two Russian expats living in the United Kingdom who were allegedly poisoned with nerve gas on the orders of the Kremlin.
In the SNL sketch, Kim is beginning to wonder if Putin is not as powerful as once thought given the Mueller report findings of no conspiracy.
Putin replies: 'Give me some credit. I turn a lot of people blue! I do what most people think.
'I'm still a powerful guy, even if Trump doesn't work for me.'
Kim's interpreter says: 'With all due respect, I don't know if I can take you seriously anymore.'
Putin replies: 'Oh, no? Well, how about I poison your family, put you in dog cage, drive you to Siberia and beat to you death with a metal pipe.'
The interpreter says: 'Glorious leader says that sounds like the Putin he knows and loves!'
Bennett then rips off his shirt and says: 'That's right. I'm back, baby!'
And now, Robert Mueller finishes his report, William Barr summarizes the report, and Donald Trump tweets his reaction to the summary. #SNL
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