Democrats Call For New Investigation After Trump Tweets ‘Good Morning.’ [Satire]
The following is satirical.
President Trump sent out a tweet today wishing America a “Good Morning.”
At CNN, Brian Stelter led a panel discussion on the fascist undertones of the tweet. Addressing the CNN audience as the audience ran to catch his flight to Duluth, Stelter said, “Trump is clearly blowing a dog whistle to the white supremacists at Fox News who deceptively allow openly conservative hosts to express openly conservative opinions unlike our fair-minded journalists who spread left-wing propaganda we call news.”
Stelter’s guest, unindicted co-conspirator John Brennan, spoke from the shadows with a disguised voice, saying, “It’s egregiously insidious at this nefarious confluence of flagrantly imperious disputacious peregrinations to expostulate duplicitous expressions of benevolent ante meridianism.” Brennan then slipped off into the darkness to avoid arrest.
At The New York Times, a former newspaper, a front page analysis denounced Trump’s Good Morning Tweet, asking, “Is it really a good morning for black and brown people? Or is that just the self-satisfied voice of whiteness speaking in recognizably male tones meant to send a chill of fear into the heart of every non-binary person trying to establish his-slash-her identity in a nation founded on the flagrant oppression of gender expression, unlike the peaceful tribes of Futa Jaloo where any man can declare himself a female in a moving ceremony of acceptance just before she’s sacrificed to Baal.”
On reading Trump’s Good Morning Tweet, Democrats in the House opened a new impeachment investigation with Nancy Pelosi wearing a military dress uniform with enormous epaulets while declaiming the Pledge of Allegiance until her personal assistant dropped the cue cards and she couldn’t remember the rest of it. In a 17-hour speech in the capitol Men’s Room, Adam Schiff declared that if the president is allowed to wish people good morning without an intra-agency consensus, he is no better than a king.
